My passion to WRITE preceeds me, My urge to be RIGHT defeats me, Certainly, my intent not to be WRONG, guides me. This is my journal, abt life. Abt how I see life. Pls dispute me if you may!...I don't want anyone to agree with me...totally.

Friday, January 20, 2006

melantun

melantun jauh dari persisi
mendambar suatu wajah
ayu, manis dan ramah

punya cerita
suatu tubuh munggil
mengghairah

germersik suara mengusik
mengkhabar seribu suara
membangkit seribu rasa

ingin yang mendingin
mahu yang kuat melulu

jauh aku melantun
tersedar cuma disini adanya

/dzan
jan 2006

Friday, January 06, 2006

persoalan

aku suka pada persoalan
yang matinya tiada mahu
hidupnya terasa malu
ketentuannya tiada reda diterima melulu
malah bercelaru

nasib tiada berputar
tapi hati yang sering tercakar
minda yang terus tersasar
tergugat oleh perasaan
tercabar oleh kenyataan

takdir adalah suatu sejarah lalu

yang ketawa, yang menangis
yang sering tiada dapat ditepis
sebab edaran waktu menderas sinis

yang dihadapan cumalah hala-tuju
yang kita memang punya kuasa menentu

janganlah hanya tersedar
setelah bersatu dengan dungu

/dzan
jan 2006

Thursday, January 05, 2006

senja dan airmata

senja bermerah mata
curiga pada suria
yang sering terik membakar
apakah bumi tiada cukup mekar?

bersoal pada ribut
tak terjawab
kenapa terus meranap?
puaskah melahap

berdebat dengan awan kelabu
sering mencucur sayu
sesinggah hujan dipermukaan
meruntuh hartanah dan kejadian
dimanakah kesudahan

berhitung pada manusia
kenapa menambah angkara
berlarutan segala durjana
tiada puaskah melihat sengsara
menambah gejala alam-semesta

senja bermerah mata
tak tersedar berlinangan airmata

/dzan
jan 2006

aku dan TUAN

kata ini, tiada rapi tersusun
gerak tari, tiada jua indah beralun
tiada syair, tiada kias berpantun

hanya pada mu TUAN
aku rebah bermohon
engkau redhakanlah
memberi segala ampun

jangan dosa ku dikais
khilaf, izinkan aku sempat berpilis
musibah jauh ditepis
gundah sempat ditangkis

TUAN
berkali aku terpilik
nada MU datang mendidik
aku terinsaf
aku makhluk daif semakin celik

/dzan
Jan 2006

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I challenge the education system : Elephant never forgets

Assalamualaikum Everyone,

This is a long one...but i think, it is abt time for i've been wanting to share.

I Challenge the Education System.
Indeed I am and had been for the past many years - as long as I can remember during my school days. Though I must admit that I enjoyed my school days all my life and wanting to excel the best I can be and had become. But I've never stopped challenging the education system I've gone through. Nah..am not that scholars material and am not being a SOUR GRADE either.
Not surprisingly, this is among the reasons why I've chosen to move my kids away from the kind of education system i used to have - though from where I came from (SG), the education system had been proven to be the "best" in its own right within this region - and still is, I say.
But I've decided to move anyway, because, it was very much RESULT / GRADE focus - stiffling the mind and made a person very rigid and non-adventourous in life (but this is changing now...)

That was among my biggest worries for my next generation - apart for having a well-balanced secular and religious education.

Unfortunately, I did not investigate further on the education system in Malaysia. I truly thought that it was totally different. During my search then, I was too engrossed on having a good mix (integrated) of religious and secular studies - not understanding the full focus of the curricullum in malaysia - that are VERY VERY MUCH LIKE once SINGAPORE used to be.

When i was going through my kids homework and curricullum for the past 2-3 yrs...i thought to my self OH MY GOD...what kind of crab are these? YUP! CRABS!.
I could not believe even the things that were emphasized by the KINDY of my prince Budi. it was so much DRILLING and RESULT focused. and I am totally in doubt on the real teaching method being done.
His math was NOT focus on the mathematical CONCEPTs but purely DRILLING with 4 digits numbers on addition, subtraction and multiplication - so many HOMEWORK daily of the sort. At K1 and K2 LEVEL? What are they trying to achive?
Looking at my prince putera and princess puteri sysllabus, does not help either. I've failed to see the fundamental CONCEPTS / VALUEs of education being thaught on the subjects.

WHAT HAVE I DONE to my kids? I keep on asking myself that now.

Looking at sg now, surprisingly and fortunately though, singapore has move away (or still in the transition for the past 2-3 yrs) from this result focus.

Yes, having good result is important, but the methodology / approach in providing a well rounded education is becoming apparent. If anything I could wish for malaysia to follow singapore - THIS WILL BE IT...and ADOPT IT FAST - the education system. But who am I ha?

My ratu who is leading the Maths curricullum in her schools and the northern schools in sg had done quite a great contribution / efforts towards that - moving away from purely academic focus. I am rather please / proud to see that development.

But i will not revert my kids there, because, I need them to have that daily religious and secular studies through out their life - possibly until they go to universitites (though my prince putera had been telling me that he wants to go to NUS or NTU in Singapore - and I have trying to "convince" him to MIT, OXFORD or even CAMBRIDGE..ha aha ha)

My point is, I'm quite (maybe very) baffled / dissapointed that malaysia is still focusing on GOOD GRADEs and thus not providing the well-balanced and all-rounded kind of education. Even the religious studies are still focus on brained power. Looking at the society in malaysia now, it's NO WONDER - NO BRAINEER.

It becomes too apparent how we (the society) as adult, judge others or how others judge us. Sadly, it is not for the value of life we have or projected, but the kind of materials and academic success we have achieved. That to me is so UTTERLY STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

Not sad? I am ..because we are grooming our kids towards the ELEPHANT NEVER FORGETs syndrome (my own theory) - i.e. good in brain power, successful in life for able to do that 1001 tricks in the circus, able to please everyone and attract the attention, but in the elephant's mind, he / she could NOT BREAK the TINY shackle that ties his / her leg.
In actual fact, it is the mind that is binding them - not the shackles. THe elephant is so afraid to even try to break it, becuase it remembers his / her youngers days of education.

Sometimes, I questioned myself why bother of runnning away fr sg (hijrah as prescribed by islam to break the vicious cycles) when I ended up exactly where i wanted to escape from. (and i've yet to voice my discontentment of being OVERCHARGED all the time in here) Phew!!!

Certainly, I do challenge the BOARDING SCHOOLs too. Last year alone, i've had many very interesting discussion with many friends and even elderly men abt it..which left them jaw-dropping after explaining to them on why is it not useful to the society. Most / all of them, just replied, " i never thought that your arguments / reasons are so valid, up till now. and i agree with u".

Ya, i do challenge the HOME SCHOOL too, because, in that, our benchmarks and focus will be still be on the RESULTS / GRADES/ RESULT..and the teaching methodology lacks of a well balance EQ, social interaction and social competitiveness amongs our kids.
One can never provide that well-balanced education for yr kids if you are doing it alone - even if you are the world brainest teacher. The fact is, you need a CONSORTIVE efforts to provide that enivironment.
We need other kids in that teaching environment for them to PLAY, LEARN, FIGHT, COMPETE, INTERACT, ADAPT etc - throughout that LEARNING PROCESS and not on weekends or seasonal periods. Possible with other races and religion too, and not like the so called "homegeous" society in US or EUROPE.

Ok, I've said my piece. You don't have to agree or disagree. Either way, these are too real for me and sorry lah, am letting my steam out. ahaks!!

PS: why all these matters? because it explains why we've meet so many ppl who failed to understand or even failed to exercise the HIGHEST VIRTUEs of LIFE or the ad-deen itself. And I'm not talking abt ppl with no education, I'm talking abt ppl of highest material and academic achievements.
Waallahualam.

/dzan