On Maturity and Uniquely Me !!

In the Name of Allah Most Gracious Most Merciful

Assalamualaikum,

If words have any meaning whatsoever, probably I will not be easily misunderstood. Perhaps I do have very distorting views about life and also perhaps I am too petty and bitter about life (as what others have claimed) - thus I conclude and pre-judge everything around me. So it is about me ha?

Ironically though, life is not about me, but rather it revolves around our family, society and nation (ummah). That worries me. Like it or not, we are part of this nation building thus we must strive to be responsible individuals. Seeing my family (equates to community) taking things for granted with treacherous intentions make me cry every time.

The truth is my words can never be as vivid as others would like it to be. Isn’t life itself never was / is a vivid journey? Perhaps my inability to compose my thoughts is the stem of it. Or simply, I’m a biggest GUNDHU ever. At this moment in time, I am rather disappointed and frustrated with my very own community and family perhaps. Never would I want to give up on them, but constantly I’ve been compelled to - by the response. Never mind the pain in this life and to conclude I have not. But it rather ironic when others did it just that after saying that “they are not judgemental but I am guilty of such”.

Desperately I always thought that I am making constant efforts to Reproof, Rectify and Repent on all things that surrounds me – until I received cynical conclusions by others. How ironic. And my personal views are NEVER absolute – suggesting that I said it is(?) I smirk that thought and yes, you must be kidding if I ever feel that way, for I know, my personal views and experiences are NO LESS OBSOLUTE to a FATWA issued by our mufti.

Thus, yet again, I’m reproving, rectifying and repenting myself and instead of uttering and get misunderstood, here are some aspiring words by the experts about Maturity and Uniquely me. This I thought is an Islamic wisdom in action. For years, I have thought there is something horribly wrong about me, until every now and then I’ve been reminded how normal I am indeed.

And these words summed it all.

“ The most important lesson I have learned about maturity is that the emergence, the full development, of what is uniquely me should be an important concern throughout my entire life. There are many other important concerns but this particular one must never be submerged, never be out of sight.

This I learned the hard way. There was a long “wilderness” period in which I sought resources outside myself. I looked for an “answer” to the normal frustrations of life (frustration used in the sense of the blocking of motives to which one cannot make a constructive response). Good years went by. No answers came. It took a long time for me to discover that the only real answer to frustration is to concern myself with the drawing forth of what is uniquely me. Only as what is uniquely me emerges do I experience moments of true creativity; moments which, when deeply felt, temper the pain of long periods of frustration that are the common lot of most of us and gives us the impulse and the courage to act constructively in the outside world.

Every life, including the most normal of the normal is a blend of experiences that build ego strength and those that tear it down. As one’s responsibilities widen, these forces become more powerful. As good a definition as I know is that maturity is the capacity to withstand the ego-destroying experiences and not lose one’s perspective in the ego-building experiences.

But this takes a special view of the self. The sustaining feeling of the personal significance is important. It comes from the inside. I am not a piece of dust on the way to becoming another piece of dust. I am an unique instrument of creation, unlike any that has ever been or ever will be. So is each of you. No matter how badly you may be shaken, no matter how serious the failure or how ignominious the fall from grace, by accepting and learning you can be restored with greater strength. Don’t lose this basic view of who you are.”

R.K GreenLeaf
Teacher as Servant – a Parable, Page 50-51
The Greenleaf Center 2002

By the way, I do believe that every single western ideas, knowledge and wisdoms are uniquely spawned and borrowed from the Islamic civilization and wisdoms. Thus I only acknowledge that all knowledge are indeed from Allah S.W.T alone and not uniquely theirs.
And I recommend this book a "MUST READ BOOK" to anyone who sincerely care and like to help others - without fame and glory or anykind of credits in return.

Praying for your spiritual advancement as I’ve wished you’ve prayed for mine. InsyAllah. Amin.

/dzan