My passion to WRITE preceeds me, My urge to be RIGHT defeats me, Certainly, my intent not to be WRONG, guides me. This is my journal, abt life. Abt how I see life. Pls dispute me if you may!...I don't want anyone to agree with me...totally.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

maaf?

bergetir suara langit
kelat tiada memikat
malah begitu kesat, menyengat
bergetar suara hati
tiada daya mengengkari
walau benar ada pada diri, egois

termaktubkah bicara?
tersuratkah kata-kata?
atau tersirat erti rasa?

maaf ku pinta
maaf mu ku terima
sebenarnya maaf itu
tiadalah apa ertinya.

sebab handaian kita
melampaui perbatasan samudera

/dzan
may 2005

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Tiada kemungkinan

pada tuhan
mana ada erti kemungkinan?
kesemuanya adalah kepastian,
bersungguh dalam kebenaran
pabila jitu DIA meninginkan

yang berkalau ada insan,
yang beragu ada syaitan,
yang melulu ada haiwan,
yang tak menentu dan bercelaru
ada nafsu.

puisi dan pujangga
sekadar menghiasi minda
yang sering berkalut
yang tiada pasti tempat berpaut

sebenarnya
Tuhan itu PASTI
biarpun kita tiada
mengingati atau menginsafi diri

/dzan
may 2005

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Sinar Itu

sinar itu yang ku cari...

kata mereka disini, dilubuk sanubari
tapi kenapa payah?
perit juga untuk menggapai
sedang ianya tiada jauh mengganjur
kenapa pula ada tembok
berkuasa ghaib
mengaburi pelita hati

butakah panca indera?
tulikah deria mendengar?
matikah perisa lidah?
atau sememangnya
aku insan tolol...
tiada pernah tahu menilai hidup
apa lagi mengakur diri?

/dzan
May 2005

Saturday, May 07, 2005

A RETROSPECT : tsunami oh tsunami

"....when we assert that God intends to punish mankind through natural disasters, we are assuming that we KNOW WHAT is exactly in God's mind. But NO FINITE mind can grasp the INFINITE. Yet, people who say natural catastrophes as divine punishments are DEAD-SURE that that was HOW GOD intended it to be. "

Speculating God's will - the muslim readers Vol 23 page 29

Have you ever wonder why is it, constantly, when some misfortunes hit you there will be someone would be telling you that it is god's warth? And that someone is usually ppl who are outwardly religiously pious.And by that insinuation, they had been spared and protected from such misfortunes - unlike you the unfortunate(?).

(try checking on divorce / polygamy cases, you'll not be surprise that most reasons cited by men are because the wives have NOT been GOOD bla..bla..bla..)

But when such misfortunes hit them or their closed ones, they will be quick to say that it is A TEST FROM Allah of their faith. (bummer!!) While all the blames on them are NOT VALID . Is that logic or what?

I see this as a sickness in our soceity..since i was as young as 12 yrs old. mind me..i'm 40 yrs old now..and still feeling sad whenever i see this...that happens more often than not.

Have i got a BIG Task? and I'm moulding my princes and princess towards a betterment of faith by the value system that Islam has been advocate - in words, thoughts and action. Have got to GET OUT OF THIS VICIOUS CIRCLES!!! Can I ever succeed? InsyaAllah. amin.

Thus over the years i've been asking why? No, Not WHY GOD? not WHY ME? and not Why are you punishing me etc?, but rather, why such mentality exist in my community and society? What warrants such thinking and behaviour?. So much so, that during trouble times we failed misserably to asist the victims with comfort of our ad-deen.

And for some reason(s) when we failed to provide all the necessary aids to the victims - it has got to be someone's fault of sabortaging their efforts to the aid. Worst reasonings are when we start circulating how others' faith is / are trying to jeoperdise our noble mission. huh !! sound familiar? Yup...many of us are guilting. Very guilty indeed.

Oh come on, how long must we blame others for our inefficiencies? HOW LONG MORE? Stop leaning on our past success but rather learn from our past mistakes to grow !!!

Be it as it is, and not belittling God and HIS warth, my mind has been blogging for words and reasons how and what can be done to undo this behaviour so that we become a truly universal ummah as per our UNIVERSAL ISLAM. Anything unislamic abt it?

I am glad that in the recent quake of the NIAH islands, I've not received any news or emails or anykind rhetorical talks abt some mystical events - perhaps for the fact that the MOAQUEs were not SPARED from the quake (?).

Can i say Alhamdullillah that the mosques crumbled too(?) yes, indeed. Because it stops some sanctions of the ummah who would arrogantly prove his or her point(s) of being BETTER than the rest by such insinuation. waallahualam. or was there such emails i've not been receiving ?

Abt 3 mths ago, i was performing my friday prayer in a mosque in singapore. I was intrigued by the khutbah, where the khatib talked abt the tsunami and he highlighted the rhetorical and gullible reasonings many are embarking - failling to focus / concentrate on the real issues that contribute to the high rise of the victims.

Btw, there is a very very interesting and intellectual article by Mohamed Imram Mohamed Taib published in the MUSLIM READER magazines of DARUL ARQAM (muslim converts society in singapore) vol. 23 no. 1. page 20 - 31

A very well researched work and i encourage everyone to get a hold of it and read it at least once - IF YOU ARE SINCERE in YOUR QUEST for the TRUTH. Even if this article may not present the absolute truth it presents a value approach towards the TRUTH. But of course some of you may find the WRITER TOLOL (BIGOTORY).

(buy hey...my gentle reminder if you are tempted to do so. Pls ensure that you have to bring on yr evidence for such judgement ha).

My take is that the writer presented and truly challenged us to revalidate our faith, our intellectual state and also our sentiments. Above all, it dispelled anykind of rhetorical sentiments and speculation - let alone anykind of mystical reasonings.

In any case, i trust that if we are sincerely seeking the truth, we can hear what others are saying - else another bigotory begets.

Praying for yr spiritual advancement as i've wished u've prayed for mine. InsyaAllah. amin.
/dzan

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

pesan

pesan datuknenek
bila bercakap malam
berpandang-pandang lah
jangan sampai luka berdarah
akibat tersondol bucu
sendiri yang bercelaru

pesan mereka lagi
bila bercakap siang
berdengar-dengarlah
agar jelas dalam ikhlas
mulut dan laku tiada cemas

pesan para nabi
berbicaralah dengan akal
sebab buat dan ungkapan durjana
tiada layak mengutara
bisu bakal menjadi tegar
malah bisu hebat dan berhemat.
tatkala satu jari menunding
beringatlah pada semua
jari yang berpaling

pesan pencipta pula
pastikan suara dan laku
dapat diganding
tiada mungkin sanubari berpaling
dari sudut maha pencipta
biarpun kabur hati ini
dari panahan manusia

/dzan
may 2005

bursting

your heart
must have been filled with victories
manifested deep and quick
throbbing and bursting with joy
to the tip of the universe
back and forth
fearing not
but simply a rhetorical plot.

/dzan
may 2005

Sunday, May 01, 2005

engkau bilang

engkau bilang
hukum mengerti dan memahami
telah pun engkau kuasai
mika-mika yang lain
hanya mampu memurtadkan
martabat hidup dan mati
menyimpang pada kilauan
dari gelap gua yang membuat
diri mu suci

engkau kata
pencipta lengkap mengetahui
mika-mika itu bercelaru
dalam fikir dan tiada suluh
dalam hidup dan mati
sedang engkaulah manusia terpuji

habis kenapa bicara mu
tiada satu dengan laku
menyimpang jauh dari jitu
layak mu bagai
maha sempurna dan tahu..

aku...hidup, mati
dan dihidupkan kembali
tak kan mahu mengerti

/dzan