My passion to WRITE preceeds me, My urge to be RIGHT defeats me, Certainly, my intent not to be WRONG, guides me. This is my journal, abt life. Abt how I see life. Pls dispute me if you may!...I don't want anyone to agree with me...totally.

Sunday, January 21, 2024

MY MENTAL BLOCKER: A MEMOIR

 MY MENTAL BLOCKER: A MEMOIR

By dzan

19 Jan 2024

 

The Gift of Photographic Memory

In the halcyon days of my education, I was blessed with a photographic memory. The ability to recall not just the content, but the exact location, lines, and paragraphs of the material I read was mine. Even the context in which the information was presented was etched in my mind. During intellectual exchanges with my peers, I found myself correcting their misinterpretations of the text, drawing upon my memory to reference the original material. Time and again, I was vindicated.

However, I was a nonconformist in my education.  Instead of excelling in my studies, I prefer to be a ‘mediocre’ over ‘exceptional’. 

But for a very long time, my memories of my past has been illusive and drastically deteriorating.

The Onset of Amnesia

Years into my professional life, I crossed paths with a stranger who seemed to know me intimately. After a week of engaging conversations, he posed a question that caught me off guard, “You don’t remember me, do you?” Without a hint of remorse, I confessed, “No”.

He then took me on a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about our secondary school days, our shared meals of Nasi Lemak, and our close-knit friendship. To my surprise, these memories were lost on me. This wasn’t an isolated incident. Several old school friends recounted tales of frequent visits to my home, yet these memories too, were absent from my recollection.

The Tale of My 12 Ex-Girlfriends

In an attempt to explain my “amnesia” to my children, they suggested that perhaps a “traumatic” event had led to the erasure of my memories. However, I distinctly remembered and shared with them that before marrying their mother, my beloved wife, I had been in relationships with 12 different women. I was even engaged once, but ultimately, I married my wife, who was neither my girlfriend nor my fiancé. My daughter, upon hearing this, rolled her eyes, stating that I was not “cool” enough to have had girlfriends.

As a Muslim, I did not partake in the typical physical boy-girl relationship despite having had 12 girlfriends. I needed to uphold my values as a Muslim.

 

A Facebook Message: A Memory Jogger

Recently, in Jan 2024, I received a Facebook message that read, “Hi there, do you by any chance know a person called Pxxxx Sari Rxxxi?”. The message was a few days old, and I hesitated before responding, “Yes. It was so long ago. Why? You met her recently?”

As it turned out, the sender was her niece or nephew. He shared that Sari had passed away in 2012 and that his mother had found my letters and gifts to Sari, whom I used to call.   

I mentioned that some 15 or 20 years ago, Sari did reach me over Facebook message telling me about her strokes of breast cancer, stage 3. She said was married, in UK with a son, and was on chemotherapy. 

At that moment, I remained unperturbed, gently assuring her that my heart bore no burdens of the past. My mind, too, was a tranquil sea, barely rippling with the faintest memories of our shared history. Our interaction was devoid of the customary courtesies and absolutions, as if they were mere spectres, fading into the ether of forgotten discourse.

All I could remember was that she was my 12th girlfriend. No details, no images of Sari came to mind.

Her nephew or niece sought my advice on what to do with the letters and gifts. To that, I responded, “Do whatever you want”.

 

Memories Rushing In

I am typically a sound sleeper, but on this particular night – 18th Jan 2024, memories of Sari invaded my dreams.

Before drifting off to sleep, I had sent a Facebook message to her nephew saying: “Sari used to be my favourite person. But perhaps the feelings were not mutual. We have never met, nor spoke after we parted our ways.  I believe now, Allah SWT had different paths for me. I am happy with the people I love and care dearly. Alhamdullillah. Take care.”

 

Our Unfinished Story

Sari and I were both students at the same private school. Sari stood out among the handful of Malays. She was tall, attractive, confident, and immensely popular, always surrounded by boy or girl friends. Despite her popularity, I was timid, and shy, yet can be very friendly.  One thing is for sure, I never sought nor intended to get to know her.

One day, Sari and her friends approached me in class.  Suddenly, Sari spoke to me. I was taken aback and, in my shock, fled out of the classroom. I thought that was the end, but it was just the beginning.

 Sari, As I Remember

A few days later, my classmates decided to organise a trip to Malaysia. They asked if I could join and host them at my house in Mersing, Johor. Without giving much thought, I agreed.

The group consisted of two girls and six boys. We hired a few cars for the two-hour journey from Singapore to Mersing. Sari and her girl friend rode with me, while the rest in other cars.  That’s how we began to get to know each other better.

Just as my observation from afar, Sari was confident, intelligent, and liberal, unafraid to speak her mind. I admired these traits in a woman. When she expressed her hurt about the day I ran away from the classroom when she talked to me, I brushed it off, unapologetic.

Upon reaching Mersing, I mingled with everyone as if they were all my good friends and played the role of a good host.

Everyone noticed and knew that Sari and I liked each other, but everyone pretended as if it was nothing. We had a great time in Mersing, exploring the beach, picnicking, having a barbecue, and roaming around Mersing.

Like a Blossoming Cherry Tree

Post-trip, I anticipated a return to our previous dynamics would end whatever was there in Mersing. However, Sari and I found ourselves drawn closer. We spent countless afternoons and evenings together post-school, and she became a regular visitor at my home, we studied together, collaborated on school projects, and shared her dreams of studying abroad. I could only respond with a smile and well wishes.

She often said that she loved it that I never imposed my values onto her or be judgemental towards her.  And she enjoyed it when I accompanied or assisted her while she did the dishes.  She was quirky and full of puns.  Sometimes I don’t even know if I should get offended.  Often, she expressed that for a Malay I was very intelligent. And she never met Malays who were good-looking until she met me.  Mostly, I would respond by saying, "Those are not compliments".

She said hardly had Malay boyfriends.  Her exes were non-Malays. She also talked about the part-time modeling gigs that she enjoyed. She contemplated to do modeling seriously.  Only when she asked me about it, I asked her, “Why would you be spending time and money to pursue your higher education if modeling was her career choice? With the knowledge that you acquire why would you let others tell you how to dress, how to walk, and perhaps how to behave?”  A few months later she declared that she gave up modeling as she realised it was an insult to her intelligence.  She conceded that what I had said made a lot of sense.

We became favourites of each other’s, but we never verbalized our feelings, but I believed that when two people are attracted to each other, words are often unnecessary.

I visited her home occasionally, met her mother, and enjoyed our conversations. I’ve always been someone who can engage in meaningful conversations with my friends’ parents.

Sari used to frequent my house, spending time with me. After all, we seldom ventured out. She was never hesitant to enter my room, irrespective of whether my parents were present or not. She never waited for an invitation, from the first day.

In the heart of my traditional mother, a seed of worry was sown, yet she chose to place her trust in me. She would often remind me, with a voice as soft as a lullaby, that Sari was not just a name, but a cherished daughter to someone, and she deserved nothing less than respect and care.  I understood her queue.

There were times when our home was filled with the chatter of guests, and Sari, with an air of nonchalance, would retreat to the sanctuary of my room. This act, innocent as it was, would set the tongues of our guests wagging, their whispers echoing through the corridors.

But fortune smiled upon me, for my mother was a woman of steel, unswayed by the idle gossip that swirled around us. Her focus remained unwavering, her faith in me unshaken, a beacon of strength amidst the storm of whispers.

Sari often used to take her showers at my place, subsequently entering my room and requesting me to dry her hair with a brush. Those instances were the sole intimate moments we shared. Yes, these minor details, resonate in my memory now.

 

The Proposal

As days turned into weeks, months, and years, my fondness for Sari grew. I believed (assumed) she felt the same. But we never really talk about it. I just knew. So, I thought.

One day, I suggested, “Let’s apply for a flat together.” She was taken aback and retorted, “Are you crazy?” I felt embarrassed and rejected. I distanced myself from Sari for a few days, and perhaps we both did, without uttering a word about what happened.

A few months later, I knew I wanted to settle down. I informed my mother of my choice. She wasn’t thrilled about Sari, but she didn’t stop me.   I took it as her blessing of my choice.

However, I couldn’t get over the “rejection.” I assumed Sari had no interest in me and decided to move on.   It was a painful decision on my part. We hung out a few times though, which I assumed was just a casual friendship.

I met someone about 12 years my junior who liked me a lot. I didn’t dislike her, but I was comfortable with her. She was pretty but too submissive and naive. Ready to settle down, and so I proposed to her.

A few weeks later, I met Sari and told her about my engagement. She was furious and stormed off.   We met again a few days later and started talking about my engagement.

“Why not me?” she asked. “You rejected me,” I replied. She screamed and asked when? I reminded her of our conversation about applying for a flat together. She was livid. She berated me, “How did you propose to your fiancé? Why can’t you propose to me like you did to her? What kind of proposal did you make to me?”

I felt guilty, realizing my mistake. I apologized and withdrew.

Her words echoed in my mind for weeks and months. I asked my fiancé why she wanted to marry me. Her reasoning shocked me, and I knew she wasn’t the one I wanted to marry. I felt disjointed if I continued my relationship with her and married her.  But I was undecided just yet.

Meantime, memories of Sari tormented me, and I yearned for her.

One day, at a barbecue with my best friends, my friends discovered I was engaged. While the rest congratulated me, one of them asked me, “Do you love her?” It was a reality check.  I began questioning myself repeatedly.

Weeks passed, I felt tormented, and my yearning for Sari grew stronger. Her words kept playing in my head. Hence, I decided to break off my engagement.  I like to believe the breaking up was for Sari – despite uncertainty if she would ever accept me.  I did not feel guilty but doing justice instead for my fiancé.

 Together or Apart?

Sari and I began to see each other more frequently. I had yet to inform her about my broken engagement, but when I finally did, I was met with reprimand. However, we moved past that. By then, I assumed we understood each other and where we were heading.

Weeks and months passed. One day, I called her home. Her mother informed me that Sari was away, visiting her adoptive parents in Perak or somewhere else. When I asked when she would be back or if there was a number I could reach her at, I was met with silence. I called every week, but there was still no news.

A month later, her mother unveiled a truth that fragmented my heart. “I can no longer bear the burden of Sari’s secret. She’s in the UK, advancing her Honors Degree. She implored me to keep you in the dark,” she confessed. I was left in a state of desolation.

“Sari is not the one for you,” her mother added. “True, she has evolved for the better since your paths crossed, becoming more devout in her prayers and showing me, her mother, more reverence. But she is not your destined companion.”

Her words stirred a tempest within me. “How can you assert she is not right for me?” I retorted. “You are her mother. Why would you even harbor or voice such thoughts? Why doesn’t anyone inquire about what’s good for me? Why decide on my behalf? Isn’t this a matter between Sari and me? Even my own mother never presumes to make decisions for me.”

Her mother replied, “No. This is solely about her. Just her. She embarked on her UK journey without seeking my consent, her mother’s, let alone informing you.”

My world spun non-stop. But I couldn’t give up on her. “Yes, I love her,” I said.

 The Denial

My mother, with her keen eye, observed the change in my demeanor, the retreat into solitude, and my newfound propensity to seclude myself within the confines of my room.

I discovered the university where Sari was studying. I reached out to the institution and eventually succeeded in speaking with her over the phone. She confessed, “I chose to pursue my studies in the UK out of fear that you might not support my academic aspirations. You are my only Malay boyfriend. You’ve always been different and extremely good to me.  You never exploited me despite the numerous opportunities I presented.” Her words left me bewildered. I responded, “How and why could you entertain such thoughts, knowing my deep respect for education and my profound affection for you?

Then, she uttered the words that pierced my heart, “You are too good for me. I am ending our relationship.” I cried out in disbelief. I implored her. I begged her not to sever our ties. I screamed. I threw tantrums over the telephone. I questioned, “How can you end something that hasn’t even officially begun? I haven’t even had the chance to formally propose to you.  Take your time in UK and we talk after you come back, please!”

Yet, she remained resolute and ended the call. I was plunged into a sea of torment, shedding tears that flowed like a river, day after day, for weeks, perhaps even months and years. It felt as though my heart and lungs were being torn asunder. I descended into an abyss of emotional-amuk. I had a rampage in my heart. Throwing tantrums like a small spoilt child.  I casted blame upon her, but the brunt of the blame was directed at myself. I became withdrawn, my demeanour shifting to one of easy agitation toward those around me.  But I was still able to manage my composure in crowds.

My dear mother, who knew me so well, couldn’t stand to see me in such pain. She approached me, offering money for a flight to the UK to meet Sari and discuss our issues face-to-face, not just over the phone, she suggested.

Yet, deep within, I was aware of Sari’s pride, and her unyielding character. I knew she wouldn’t change her mind. And she did just that. So, I merely brooded in silence.

At work, everyone noticed. My bosses asked me to take a long leave, though it did not affect my work. But the bubbly and jovial person had left the office.  Everyone thought my depression was due to my breaking up with my fiancé.  I never told anybody what was burning inside me.

Thus, I chose to stay occupied, shedding tears in solitude, but mostly, I found solace in my prayers to Allah SWT, seeking a renewed heart. I made a solemn vow to find someone whom I could love, cherish, and care for even more than I did for Sari. It took me two long years to finally move past her.

I expunged Sari from my memory. Unbeknownst to me at the time, this act of forgetting also wiped away all my other memories. She had unknowingly become a barrier to my recollections.  My mental blocker.

The Road Not Taken

In an innocent inquiry, my children (so as I), unaware of the full spectrum of my past, once posed a question, “What if you hadn’t married mum?” My response was heartfelt, “Then I would have missed out on the profound love for the mother of my children and the joy of having such wonderful children like all of you. I cannot imagine all of you have different faces.  Your presence brings me joy and calmness every time. By Allah, I couldn’t be prouder or more grateful to be blessed with your mother and all of you. Alhamdulillah.”

I am eternally thankful to Allah SWT for bestowing upon me the capacity to love, cherish and care, and to be loved by those I hold dear. Subhanallah.

My Prayer

Now, all I have to offer are my prayers and my deeds as I patiently await to meet with my Creator, Allah SWT.

Oh Allah, bless the soul of the late Sari. Forgive her. Shower her with Your blessings and grant her your Jannah. Place her among the pious. Bless my parents, her parents, and all of us. Accept our good deeds. Guide us on the straight path. Amin. Insyaallah.

Oh Allah, bestow upon me, my generation, and all Muslims unwavering faith. And when our time comes, grant us a good end. Amen. Insyaallah.

My past is but a memory, its recollection holds no value to me now, dwelling and lamenting on it.  As I document this memoir, I am certain that everyone has experienced their share of trials and tribulations.

I have left my emotional baggage so long ago. The blockage in my mind has been now lifted.  Unblocked.  But I could no longer repossess the superpower of photographic memory. Yes,  Alhamdullillah.

/dzan

19 Jan 2024

 

Thursday, January 28, 2021

My Inspiration and Design Principles

Over the years, I've done a few (many actually) consultancy and development work - (free or chargeable) on the following :

  • Business Branding - Products and / or Company
  • Logo Designs
  • Flyers and Presentation Designs
  • Technical and Business strategy etc
But I would not call myself an expert.  For I am still learning and continue to learn and listen from the experts and pick up some tips and tricks every now and then. Often, I forego their influence in my work and  I draw my inspiration from things around me.

The truth is, "Idea does exist in vacuum."

So, whatever has been produced by anybody or everybody, is probably already somewhat existed somewhere.

But, I take extra effort in ensuring that my work are as original as I can get. There are few websites that I use, to check for any kind of plagiarism or similarity that exist somewhere - flyers, logos, captions etc.  As long as the works is not a 100% duplicates or verbertim of someone's work, I consider it is good to go.  

If I have to use or publish someone's work 100%,  then, it is only right to acknowledge the original writers and / or designers.  But at times, even without making any reference to other's people work, there could be some similarity here and there.

As mentioned above, I draw inspirations from all around me but most importantly is that I understood (or at least I try) my customers' requirements and aspiration.  Of course there are times I do input "my 2 cents value" and advise them accordingly when I see fit. Sometimes they agree. Sometime they don't.  Ans since whatever I do is for them, it has got to be what they have envisioned, liked and / or aspired.

I do acknowledge the experts Rules of Thumb and / or the Do's & Don'ts.  But at times I violate it intentionally just to ensure that the "originality" is exhibited in my works.  Not surprisingly by nature I am against the norm.  I hear but I do not really listen and obey.  Hence, some of my works are appreciated, some are not.  Bottom line if I create for someone, it has to be for them and their likings.

There are various philosophies in design principles.    Some say, it must depicts the products and services. Some say it must reflect the owners. and some say it has got to resonate with the audience.  Personally, I found all that to be true with lots of rooms for objection to improve - to call it our own.

The fundamental philosophy of an art piece is - be it designs or literature works, once it is completed, it belongs to the viewers or the audience.  It may or may not resonate with the audience.  So that is ok.  But lets not be offensive in those works.   And in my view trying to understand the creator's thoughts on what is being produced is futile.  Sadly many schools teach students to draw out the thoughts of the creators / authors of  their work piece - not what they draw from their own understanding, feeling and perception.   And I hear students complaining that they got lower marks or failed just because they interpret the authors' work based on their perception and understanding.

Why? Yes. I've often asked why? 

If I want to know what are / were the thoughts of the authors / creators, I would probably ask him / her myself or study his life story.   Unless, I am studying history or the creators' life story, I often avoid spending time and energy trying to study him / her other than studying the works he / she has done.

It has been long since I do designs - due to my tight schedule.   But today, out of interest and boredom, I came up with a logo of my pet - SEPET my cat.

If it permits I may or may not share some of my past logo designs etc....

Here is the LOGO of my cat SEPET... what do you think? hu hu?


/dzan

january 2021


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Sunday, May 03, 2020

Personal Branding, Product Branding, Corporate Branding

DISCLAIMER:   I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON THIS TOPIC. BUT I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. OR MAY BE NOT.

A friend recently asked how to come up with a brandname? Or how do I coined company names for myself or for others that I have done so far?
So I responded by questioning:
  • what do you expire for yr products n services?or
  • even the company? and 
  • the target group.?

Personally, as individual it matters how I conduct my business without promoting myself. Hence, I hardly promote myself or want personal branding. If ever, I only present my value through grit, honesty and integrity.

If it comes to my credentials that I present in business meetings, it is meant only to showcase my team's ability and gives some assurance. It is not an attempt to promote myself. But what and how we can deliver - with our experiences.

Product branding has a lifespan. Remember SUDICOLA of Sudirman Hj Arshad? He has good personal branding...but the products died together with him  - almost instantly.

Company name may also be a brandname that may last forever and may be difficult to change along the way. 

I am not sure what is it called?
But i call it CORPORATE BRANDING. I prefer corporate branding away from personal n products branding.
I never remember Bill Gates, Steve Jobs or even Warren Buffet talked or promoted themselves. But since their company n products moved so well...people want to know more about them and so it is the people who promote them.

There are many ridiculous brandnames out there that made it big because they have the money to push their brands. Eg. LIMKOKWING University... FCUK...etc...oops.

Many entrepreneurs make up their biz strategies and stories along the way. It shows versatility and flexibility. While failing is most unfortunate, nothing beats the resilience and rigor that entrepreneurs have to come out from failures.


Saturday, May 02, 2020

Part 3 - 3 Mimpi yang Berbeza dalam 1 Perjalanan Malam 9th Ramadan, 1441h

Mimpi adalah mainan tidur. Sering tak ada pangkal dan hujungnya. Kadang-kadang boleh berubah topik tak semena-mena.  Saya pernah dengar cerita bahawa mimpi itu adalah 1/28 dari wahyu. Kononnya itu adalah hadith.  Apa pun saya tak pernah jumpa lagi dalilnya. Apa lagi dalil sahihnya. Kalau anda tahu dalil sahihnya, harap kongsi.


MIMPI 3 LAGI - LAST NI

Assalamualaikum,

Ok. Saya tak perasan lepas mimpi pertama dan kedua saya tersedar dari tidur atau tidak.   Rasanya tidak.

Dalam mimpi saya terbawa ke tengah laut bersama rakan-rakan yang lain. Air jernih dan tenang.  Laut tersangat dalam, sbb ditengah-tengah laut. Kami di beri boya tiap seorang. Rakan-rakan yang lain mendapat boya yg besar, yang boleh mereka duduk diatasnya.  Saya hanya mendapat pelampung serupa batang pisang panjang 1.5 kaki - yang cukup-cukup untuk saya pegang erat kuat-kuat.  Pelampung tu lah menjadi tempat bergantung nyawa saya.

Tugasan kami adalah membuat suatu ekspidisi mengelilingi suatu pulau besar. Mungkin juga pulau Singapura.  Entah.

Rakan-rakan yang lain bersama saya bergerak perlahan-lahan, menggunakan tangan sebagai pengayuh. Oleh kerana kedua tangan saya memegang erat pelampung yang sungguh tidak dpt membuat saya terapung dengan selesa, saya cuma bergerak dengan kaki sahaja.  Beberapa kali saya hampir tenggelam atau terlepas dari genggaman erat pd pelampung itu.  Seorang rakan menemani  sambil berbual-bual sepanjang perjalanan kami.   Rakan-rakan yang lain di atas boyar masing-masing. Badan tak tergelam pun dalam air.  Tapi saya hanya kepala diatas air.  Rakan saya perasan saya tercungap-cungap cuba mengapungkan diri.

Selapas 1pulau, ke 1 pulau berlalu. Kami tidak boleh singgah kemana-mana pulau dan harus mengelilingi Pulau Besar dalam ekspedisi kami. Sampailah kesatu pulau dimana perairannaya penuh dengan ikan Pirana.  Saya memang tenang...tapi tangan saya semakin lemah dan sesekali terlepas dari memegang erat pelampung saya itu.   Dari tenang, rasa cemas mula merasuk.  Bila teringat ikan pirana yg didalam air semakin cemas.  Tenggelam beberapa kali.  Lemah dan nak lemas. Panik lagi.

Tapi entah kenapa, alih-alih saya tiba hampir ke pantai pulau yg berdekatan.  Rakan disebelah saya cepat memanggil pegawai  keselamatan untuk membantu saya.  Saya diberi boya yang besar  seperti rakan-rakan yang lain.  Barulah selesa duduk di atas boya tersebut sambil mengayuh dengan tangan mengelilingi pulau.

Baru saya tersedar dari tidur.. ehh...merepeknya mimpi aku... Tapi setankan tak de bulan posa ni?

Dalam terjaga terfikir tentang:

  • Mimpi 1 - Air Sungai yg bersih mengalir dan akan menjadi kotor. Di atas pergunungan. Beri peringatan tak de siapa nak dgr. Orang boleh terbang untuk ke perkampungan tersebut. 
  • Mimpi 2 - Bergaduh dgn rakan (rapat - I think) sampai bertumbuk-tampar. Merasa puas dapat tampar dia bertubi walau kalah. Memberi pengingatan pada dia untuk menjaga akhlak. Untuk belajar berkawan dgn manusia, bukan dengan harta benda.
  • Mimpi 3 - Terapung diatas air laut yg dalam, jernih dan tenang. Tapi ada ikan pirana. Hampir lemas tenggelam, tapi terselamat akhirnya. 
Alhamdullillah. Hanya sekadar mimpi. Semoga Allah merahmati.  Apa lah agaknya. 

Wallahualam.


Part 2 - 3 Mimpi yang Berbeza dalam 1 Perjalanan Malam 9th Ramadan, 1441h

DISCLAIMER: Posting ini hanya pelipur lara. Berdasarkan dari mimpi saya yg semalam. Perlu diketahui bahawa Saya bukan golongan mistik dan menolak segala macam perkara-perkara mistik.  Tidak seperti mimpi para Nabi, Sesungguhnya saya yakin, sesudah datanganya Rasullullah SAW, mimpi tidak boleh dijadikan hujah atau dalil atau sandaran hidup.   Feng Shui, Metafizikdan entah apa-apa mukjizat adalah perkara yang saya tolak.  dan Mimpi adalah mainan tidur. 


MIMPI KEDUA:

Assalamualaikum,

Entah macam mana, saya berada di tempat yang lain. Memandu. Tak tahu tempat tujuan. Saja memandu.

Alih-alih, saya berhenti mangambil seorang rakan wanita dan terus memandu ketempat yang dituju. Tapi masih tak tahu mana nak pergi.

Sedang memandu, kami mula bercerita dan sebagainya. Tiba-tiba saya naik darah dgn rakan saya disebelah saya.  Terasa ketika itu dia bercakap dengan saya dgn nada yg tinggi dan biadab.  Saya berhentikan kereta. Keluar dari kereta, pergi ketempat dulu dia... terus tarik beliau keluar dari kereta dan bertubi bertumbuk-tampar dgn beliau.  Sampai terbaring dan bergelut dijalan raya. Tentu sekali saya kalah dalam pergelutan tersebut.  Bergaduh bukan mainan saya. 

Tapi terasa sangat puas menampar pipinya bertubi. Sampai merah dan melecet. Sambil beri peringatan kepada beliau supaya menjaga tutur kata.  Jangan biadab saya beri peringatan.  

Saya kata lagi, belajar berkawan dengan orang. Bukan dengan harta benda dan duit.  Buat lah baik pada orang bukan pada kemewahan.

Mimpi berakhir begitu saja.  Biasalah. Mimpi kan?

Part 1 - 3 Mimpi yang Berbeza dalam 1 Perjalanan Malam 9th Ramadan, 1441h

Assalmualaikum,
Semoga di Ramadhan ini dan dalam keadaan lockdown atau Circuit Breaker Covid19 ini, kita akan senantiasa di bawah lindungan Allah SWT. Hidup senantiasa sihat dan beriman. Amin. Insyaallah.
Semalam saya bermimpi. 3 mimpi yang berbeza dalam 1 perjalanan malam Ramadhan. Subhanallah.
Sememangnya banyak perkara sepanjang hidup saya, mimpi-mimpi tertentu memberi alamat / kesan tentang perkara yg terjadi dalam hidup saya. Saya bukan orang mistik atau mahu percaya tentang tafsiran mimpi atau perkara mistik.
Sesungguhnya saya yakin, sesudah datangnya Rasullullah Muhammad S.A.W, mimpi tidak boleh menjadi hujah atau sandaran hidup kita. Tapi macam saya kata, banyak perkara yang berlaku dalam hidup, saya tersedar setelah datangnya mimpi-mimpi tertentu.
Malah, saya juga adalah golongan yang menolak Feng Shui, Mata Fizik (yang menurut saya adalah jenama baru untuk FengShui) atau segala perkara mistik atau mukjizat yang ramai sebarkan. Walaupun mukjizat itu di sebarkan atas nama Islam.
Sebab saya yakin, CUKUPLAH ALLAH BAGIKU. Cukuplah keyakinan saya pada Allah. SWT dan Rasullullah SAW - biarpun sebenarnya saya juga adalah golongan manusia yg paling lalai dlm ibadah dan sangat berdosa. Semoga Allah mengampunkan saya. Nuzubillah dan Insyaallah. Amin.
Saya berlindung dengan Allah S.W.T dari segala tipu-helah syaitan yang sering bermain dalam hati, fikiran dan Allah tetapkan iman kita yg selalu berubah2 dan dinamik.
OK, Biar saya ceritakan mimpi saya malam tadi:
1. MIMPI PERTAMA
Saya dan sekumpulan rakan pergi kesuatu daerah bukit / pergunungan yg tinggi. Ditempat itu sekumpulan jemaah mahu membuka perkampungan baru. Ada tali-air / sungai yg berwarna kehijauan dan kekuningan. Dalam mimpi saya itu saya tahu bahawa tali-air / sungai itu adalah sangat bersih - mengalir dari perkampungan dan terus ke kaki bukit / gunung. Terasa nyaman menyaksikan tali-air itu.
Tapi-tiba datang persoalan dan rasa gundah dgn keadaan air itu.
Alih-alih saya berketahuan bahawa beberapa masaalah ditempat itu yang akan menimbulkan masaalah di belakang hari yang singkat nanti:
Diperkampungan itu:
  • Tiada Air bersih untuk kegunaan seharian orang-orang kampung. Makan Minum, memasak, mandi dll
  • Tiap longkang dan kotoran dari rumah-rumah diperkampungkan itu disalurkan langsung ke dalam sungai yang mengalir ke kaki bukit / gunung.
Lalu saya bertemu seorang pakcik tua dan bertanya. Dari mana nanti penduduk kampung akan mendapatkan air bersih untuk makan-minum dan segala keperluan sehari-hari?. Jawapannya, dari sungai itu. Saya nyatakan sungai itu akan menjadi air yang sangat kotor tidak lama lagi. Maka harus dicari sumber air yang lain atau pastikan segala kotoran longkang dan sebagainya, dari rumah tidak akan disalur kedalam sungai.
Malangnya nasihat saya tidak diindah.
Saya pun turun kekaki bukit / gunung dgn perasaan hairan bagaimana orang-orang kampung akan naik turun ke tempat itu sedangkan tiada laluan atau jalan untuk ke perkampungan itu. Saya pun tak tahu bagaimana saya turun dari perkampungan itu tadi. Alih-alih dari dikaki bukit itu, ada sekumpulan orang yg mahu ke perkampungan itu. Mereka terus TERBANG naik dari kaki bukit.
Baru saya terasa nyaman. Tapi hairan mereka boleh terbang. Mimpi pertama ini berakhir.


Sunday, June 03, 2018

PERIHAL HIBAH WASIAT & CONTOH SURAT HIBAH

 1. Caveat



Artikel dan contoh surat Hibah ini adalah sebagai panduan semata. Ia bukan dokumen rasmi atau mengikut format rasmi tertentu, namun, boleh digunakan dalam perjanjian hibah peribadi.



Penulis bukan seorang agen mana-mana badan. Penulis juga bukan pakar dlm pengurusan harta dalam Islam.  Penulis bukan perundingcara atau menjual apa-apa servis atau produk dalam hal-hal berikut ini.



Artikel ini ditulis, melalui ilmu yang terhad dan berdasarkan pengalaman peribadi sendiri yang dilalui.



Jika Tuan / Puan memerlukan matlumat rasmi dan terperinci, sila merujuk kepada badan-badan atau konsultan yang bertauliah.  Seperti As-Shalihin, Amanah Raya, dll.



Penulis tidak bertanggung-jawab terhadap mana-mana matlumat yang tidak tepat atau bertentangan dgn undang-undang semasa yang mungkin berubah sedang dan setelah artikel ini ditulis. 



Begitupun, penulis dengan rendah hati sudi menerima sebarang teguran dari mana-mana pihak.  Yang benar adalah milik Allah, yang bathil adalah milik saya.



Semoga ia bermanfaat dan Allah SWT merahmati perkongsian ini. Insyaallah. Amin.




/ikhlas

Ramdzan Minhat


3rd June 2018


2. Pengertian Hibah



Hibah dan Wasiat adalah dua instrument yg berbeza.  Hibah adalah pemberian.



Jangan jadikan hibah sebagai alat untuk memenuhi sifat tamak kita. Lalu memaksa atau berleter pd si pemberi untuk dihadiahkan kepada kita.



Antara jenis hibah adalah Hibah Ruqba atau Nuzriah.  Hibah Ruqba  bersifat sementara. Syaratnya adalah MATI. Dan ramai ulama berpendapat syarat ini bertentangan dgn tuntuan Islam.



Hibah Nuzriah lebih bersifat ikhsan dan menjaga kepentingan orang2 yg tersayang. Bersihkan niat kita dalam melaksananya.



Secara umum, Hibah juga BUKAN atau tidak harus dijadikan instrument oleh PENERIMA untuk “memeras” PEMBERI dgn seribu satu macam alasan yg sering terjadi dalam keluarga.



Misalnya:



·        Isteri / isteri muda yg mendesak suami sbb takut harta seperti rumah dll akan jatuh kpd pihak yang BERKELAYAKAN. Atau isteri yg tak mahu anak2 tirinya atau mertuanya mendapat apa2 bahagian dari harta tersebut.



·        Anak2 yg mendesak ibubapa untuk membuat hibah keatasnya.



Ambillah prinsip, Harta ibubapa atau harta orang lain, bukan hak kita. Biarlah mereka sendiri yang menentukan apa yg mahu dilaku melalui kesedaran dan ilmu-ilmu islam dalam pembahagian harta.



Ia harus terbit dari KESEDARAN PEMBERI untuk MEMBERI. Ertinya, sendiri punya bahgian, maka sendirilah mahu memberi – tanpa mengharapkan balasan. Bukan dicadang dgn paksa atau di paksa.




Pendapat saya, Rumah dan Tanah adalah yg paling layak kita hibahkan. Sebab sebagai pemilik, nasib isteri dan anak-anak haruslah kita pastikan tidak teraniaya dan terbela. 



Adalah menjadi tanggung-jawab pemilik untuk pastikan segala urusan harta peninggalah diurus dengan baik semasa hidup, lalu memastikan pemergian kita nanti tidaklah menjadi azab.



Secara peribadi saya juga berpendapat, Wang dan lain2 harta, biarlah hukum faraid dilaksananya. Sebab hukum faraid adalah HUKUM ALLAH yang paling adil – berbanding dgn istrument2 manusia belaka.  Walaupun ada yg menyoalkan kenapa isteri atau anak-anak perempuan mendapat sedikit sahaja, namun sebenarnya ia penuh hikmah dan barakah.



Syarat asas memberi adalah (1) MILIK KITA sendiri, (2) semasa hidup. (3)Tiada paksaan. Lalu kita boleh beri pada sesiapa saja.  Jangan ada tipu helah untuk menidakkan hak orang lain.




3. Pengertian Surat Hibah

Surat Hibah adalah sebuah dokumentasi perjanjian yang isinya menghibahkan atau memberikan hak pemilik - baik barang, rumah  mahupun tanah, dll.



Dalam surat hibah biasanya memberikan keterangan dari pemilik ASAL turun ke pemilik KEDUA.



Instrument hibah ini digunakan BUKAN untuk menipu atau menidakkan atau merendahkan pembahagian Faraid. 


4. Syarat Sah Surat Hibah


  • sihat jasmani dan rohani si pemilik atau penghibah
  • tanpa ada paksa'an atau desakan dari manapun
  • ada bukti tempat atau barang yang dihibahkan


5. Persyaratan Dokumen Perjanjian Hibah


  1. Judul / Tarikh
  2. Identiti pihak pertama ( pemilik )
  3. Identiti pihak kedua ( yang diberi hibah )
  4. Identiti saksi-saksi ( minimal 2 orang )
  5. Isi dari dokumen yang disertakan no.  atau butir harta2 tersebut, sijil .dll 
  6. Tanda tangan kedua belah pihak dan saksi
  7.  Stamping eg. LHDN, dan Commisoner of Oath. etc

Kita boleh buat surat sendri tanpa melantik mana-mana lawyer atau badan-badan lain.

6. Pengertian Wasiat


Wasiat dalam Islam tidak sama dengan Hibah / pemberian. Antara syarat-syarat wasiat  dalam islam adalah seperti berikut:

  • ·   Bahagian yg boleh diwasiatkan tidak boleh melebihi dari 1/3 bahagian dari harta yg mahudiwasiatkan.

  • ·        Penerima wasiat bukanlah pewaris yang berhak dalam pembahagian Faraid.

  • ·        Antara mereka yg berhak dalam wasiat adalah:

o   Bukan ahli keluarga

o   Tiada hak dalam faraid

o   Ibu/Bapa atau keluarga angkat
  • ·   Wasiat hanya berkuat-kuasa bila pemilik telah meninggal. Semasa hayat penama / perwariswasiat tidak boleh mendesak atau menuntuk apa-apa.

  • ·       Nyatakan dalam wasiat supaya semua hutang-piutang harus diLANGSAIkan dahulu.

  • ·     Nyatakan dalam wasiat (1) bahagian yang telah dihibah  (2) hak isteri atau suami yg telah menyumbang modal wang-ringgit dalam harta tersebut, dll

7. Usulan Wasiat


·        Perlantikkan WASI penamanah yang bakal menguruskan segala urusan tuntutan harta dari badan2 tersebut.

o   Sebaiknya WASI merupa golongan yg berintegrasi tinggi, amanah dan baik ilmu agamanya. Lebih-lebih lagi ilmu faraid.

o   WASI tiada kepentingan dalam harta tersebut, atau kepentingan dgn mana-mana pihak yg bakal menerima wasiat.

·        Perlantikan Penjaga Anak-anak dibawah umur, kepada yg amanah dan baik dalam urusan agama.



8.  PERINGATAN – LARANGAN MENGAMBIL BALIK BARANG YANG TELAH DIHADIAHKAN


Larangan mengambil kembali barang yang telah dihadiahkan, meskipun dengan cara dibeli dengan harga murah. Hukumnya ada yang mengatakan haram ada yang mengatakan makruh:

((Dari Ibnu Abbas ra, Rasulullah saw bersabda “Orang yang mengambil kembali barang yang telah dihadiahkan, bagaikan seekor anjing yang muntah dan menelan kembali muntahannya”)).

Namun terdapat pengecualian, dimana pemberian orang tua pada anaknya boleh diambil lagi. Seperti halnya hadist berikut:


Dari Amr bin Syuaib dari ayahnya dari kakeknya, sesungguhnya Rasulullah saw bersabda “Janganlah seseorang mengambil kembali barang yang telah dihadiahkan pada orang lain, kecuali pemberian orang tua pada anaknya (boleh diambil lagi)” -HR Ibnu Majah-

Dalam pengecualian mengambil balik pemberian ibubapa kepada anak adalah seperti syarat-syarat tersebut:

  • ·        Anak-anak menjadi murtad

  • ·        Anak-anak yang derhaka terhadap ibubapa.

Sekadar begaduh dan berselisih-faham tidak termasuk dalam pengecualian tersebut. Apalagi ibubapa yang berniat dengan sengaja menaniayakan anak-anak sendiri lalu dapat mencari sebab dan alasan mengambil semula harta yang telah diberi pada anak-anak mereka.  Nauzubillah.






9. Contoh Surat Hibah.




SURAT PERJANJIAN HIBAH



Tarikh: ………………………………



PIHAK PERTAMA (PEMBERI)

Name Penuh:                        ………………………………………………

No.Kad Pengenalan:           ………………………………………………

Alamat Penuh:                      ………………………………………………



PIHAKKEDUA (PENERIMA)

Name Penuh:                        ………………………………………………

No.Kad Pengenalan:           ………………………………………………

Alamat Penuh:                      ………………………………………………



Dengan ini, pada tarikh  ____________{TARIKH} ini, saya, ________________ {NAMA PENUH & no. K/P}   atas nama pihak pertama telah menghibahkan sebidang tanah/rumah saya atau sebahagian dari tanah / rumah saya  kepada pihak kedua_________________________ {NAMA PENUH & no. K/P}. 



Hibah atau pemberian ini saya lakukan atas dasar kasih-sayang dan pada pihak kedua.



Saya adalah pemilik penuh / sebahagian (50%?) dari tanah / rumah yang ternyata dalam certificate No. XXXXX / No grant XXXXXX/ Sales & Purchage agreement bertarikh xxxxxxxx. Sila rujuk pada butir lengkap pada sijil / grant / surat gadai beli yang dinyatakan diatas.



Butir ringkas tanah / Rumah adalah seperti berikut:



1.     No. Grant / No certificate permilik

2.     Nama Pemilik Tanah / Rumah

3.     Keluasan Tanah / Rumah

4.     Lokasi / Alamat Penuh Tanah / Rumah

5.     Jumlah bahagian milik saya = 100% / 50% etc





Adalah, Rumah / Tanah seperti yang tertera diatas, selama saya memiliki dan kuasai tidak pernah terjadi persengketaan atau di gugat oleh pihak mana pun.



Maka mulai tarikh surat ini ___________________ {Tarikh} ,  tanah  / Rumah tersebut sah menjadi sepenuhnya / sebahagian hak milik kepada pihak kedua.



Demikian surat hibah ini di buat dengan sebenarnya dan dalam keadaan sehat jasmani serta rohani dan tanpa desakkan atau paksaan dari pihak mana-mana pihak dan di pergunakan sebagaimana mestinya.





Dengan ini, tanda-tangan  Pihak Pertama, Pihak Kedua dan Saksi-saksi dibawah ini telah mengesahkan pemberian hibah seperti yang dinyatakan di atas.



1.)          PIHAK PERTAMA (PEMBERI):




Tanda Tangan:                      …………………………………………..

Nama Penuh:                        …………………………………………..

No. K/P:                                  …………………………………………..

Alamat Penuh:                      …………………………………………..

Tarikh:                                     …………………………………………..           



2.)          PIHAK KEDUA (PENERIMA):





Tanda Tangan:                      …………………………………………..

Nama Penuh:                        ………………………………………….

No. K/P:                                  …………………………………………..

Alamat Penuh:                      …………………………………………...

Tarikh:                                     …………………………………………..           





SAKSI-SAKSI    

3.)          SAKSI PERTAMA:





Tanda Tangan:                      …………………………………………..

Nama Penuh:                        ………………………………………….

No. K/P:                                  …………………………………………..

Alamat Penuh:                      …………………………………………...

Tarikh:                                     …………………………………………..




4.)          SAKSI KEDUA:





Tanda Tangan:                      …………………………………………..

Nama Penuh:                        ………………………………………….

No. K/P:                                  …………………………………………..

Alamat Penuh:                      …………………………………………...

Tarikh:                                     …………………………………………..








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