nyawa, hidup, mati

nyawa kalau dapat dihitung
tentu waktu tiada terbendung
lalu kematian dapat ditebus dengan harga diri
cagarannya adalah kesempurnaan budi perkerti

tubuh yang diratah usah digusar
sememangnya hidup dan mati itu berputar

/dzan

The call to Islamic dakwah

salam,

In the recent decade (of our time), i think we have witnessed (and our parents, brothers, sisters and relatives have experienced ) the irony of islamic dakwah and the approaches in handling the world problems - let alone our daily problems. It is not Islam in questioned but rather our approaches - our daily way-of-life (ad-deen), our sentiments and our faith that translate to our Islamic vitues. (so what is the Islamic virtue again?)

I've heard of this slogan just too often : there is 1001 ways to solve a problem. (Sure! violent and / or compulsion cannot be one of them - even by insinuation!!) But what does this mean? In essence I reckoned and discovered that this statement is just a ploy and as cliche as "don't be judgemental". These phrases are often used to shut others out (muslims or non-muslims alike) - when the concerned parties want to depart from the responsibilities presented to him / her. But when the concerned parties want to harp n their values and approaches towards others, these statements do not seem to apply to them...and his / her way seems to be the only way.....ahh???

The irony is, we are in a free world and like it or not we are to listen or succumb to all that freedom-of-speech craps. And for the freedom-of-speech speakers / writers, mind you, others are free to speak their minds too and you have to take your own medicine too. So when some one voiced up their concerns, it is not an attempt to enforce their values towards others, but an opportunity (hidayah(?) maybe) for one to ponder and really react as ummah with wisdom.

Coming back to the Islamic ummah is trapped in he above "phenomenon"/ mentality, I like us to question ourselves:

1. what ever happened to "Dakwah with wisdom" (?) - the reminder by the prophet
2. what ever happened to "there is no compulsion in religion" (?) - reminder from Allah
3. what ever happened to "Rasulllullah S.A.W is the best exampler" (?) - reminder from Allah.

There are more than 1 reminders and guidance from Allah or from Rasul on how to conduct ourselves before others. Yet again, when we want to justify our "misdeeds", we would use some current figures we hold dearly - failling to see that if we listened to Allah's Qalam, we have no choice but to follow what Rasullullah did or said .

In one of the book written by a recent ulama on ISLAMIC DAKWAH (can't remember the wirter and the book) title, he cautioned his readers "that - while we want to make our point in our message, we do not have to resort in adopting the same approach of our opponents and we do not have to borrow their "materials" just to make our points. "

The truth is, our opponents (western world and non-muslims) have borrowed /used many of our knowledge and called it their own by repackaging and rebranding it eg. the 7 habits, the FISH etc etc etc. So why would I even want to choose YUSOF ISLAM or Bernard Shaw as my life example?

I don't really understand why, and I don't think I want to spend my time in understanding it. Live-Die and to ReLive, I don't wish to understand why our ummah is getting deeper in this mentalitly and irony.

But I'm calling myself and everyone that we must understand the message of Islam - its essense and its values. Otherwise, we be more and more gullible in our own world...and we are trapped in our delusional "truth" - whatever that means.

We are NOT one Brainless Ummah of yesterday, today and in future. Islam had liberated the human civilization, but sadly the current ummah has yet to liberate themselves.

So, moving forward, should we let others (schools, organization, cult, or somekind of ulama) shape our kids' minds? I for one, striving hard to dispel this irony in my own ummah (aka family). Don't wait, act (or react) now - to liberate our ummah. Lets liberate our minds that will contribute to the world peace with wisdom. Lets tear down the four walls - school walls, cave walls etc... the promise for heaven is from Allah S.W.T and not from our guru!!

Waallahualam.

/dzan

soalan retorik

kalau mati itu suatu peringatan
perlukah aku dimomok-momokan?

/dzan

Lets perform the Haj

The 2008 Haj season is coming. Lots of preparation for the jemaah since few yrs back (i'm sure). May their Haj will be blessed and mabrul. And may Allah S.W.T give them a safe journey back and forth.

My bonda once wished that she could perform her Haj with me. But I wasn't ready to go anytime sooner. She said lets go Umrah together, but I reasoned that I would not want to perform umrah until my obligation for the HAJ is fulfilled. Fortunately she conceded.
Considering her "bionic" right-leg now, she resolve to perform umrah with all her grand-daughters - all sponsored, (like 3 grand daugters and 14 grandsons) once she had her left leg get bioniked too. So probably in Jan-feb 2009 she will go through another bionic operation on her left leg. Pray for her please. Amin. Insyaallah.

Going back to the HAJ. My best friend is so lucky to have been selected and given the VISA to perform his HAJ this year - Alhamdullillah. When he made the registration only early this yr. Abt 820 jemaah SG could not perform the HAJ due to the limited VISA. Always the same problem in SG - demand is more than the available VISAs.

I'm registering now for myself and my ratu for the Haj - insyaallah for the yr 2010. It is said that the cycle is minimum 3 yrs to 5 yrs.

So how lucky can my best friend be? We pray and hope that it will be fulfilled and our health is still intact. I heard that the pkg for the Haj now is very high...like mininum of SGD9 - 10k. hemm.. very high indeed. Baru angan2 nak bawa the kids too. Ok..Pray for me and my ratu to have the opp to perform the Haj soon - insyaallah. amin.

My kids had been asking for holiday trips to the middle east, to disneyland, to china to all the interesting places. My take...hemm..right now till our HAJ obligation is fulfilled - all vacation s are only to nearby locations - malaysia or indonesia. Once our obligation for the Haj is fulfilled I may consider bringing them on yearly trips to further away holiday.

But considering the economic crisis, must be prudent and be thrifty. But i agree on the notion that to combat the bad economy is to spend. hemm...conflicting info ha?

but for now - NO SUGAR IN OUR DISHES....NO KICHAP IN OUR DISHES TOO...just plain a pinch-of-salt. ha ha

waallahualam.

/dzan

yang

Sayang:

yang kau curi adalah hati ku
yang kau usik adalah naluri ku
yang kau sentuh adalah jiwa ku
yang kau genggam adalah janji ku
yang kau gantung adalah nyawa ku
yang kau bisik adalah riwayat cinta ku

//yang terngiang adalah keberadaan aku dan kamu//

/dzan

Liputan Aidilfitri Oct 2008

Salam Aidilfitri.

Sucikan Hati - kembali fitri. Maaf ber -ribu dari kami sekeluarga. Macam biasa sibuk memanjang.

Raya yg lepas tak sempat raya sbb outstation..balik cuma sehari dan petang raya bergegas ketanah orang. Tahun ni, raya sehari (lagi), sbb semua keluarga diSG kerja hari kedua dan anak2 dah mula periksa.

My ratu pun kerja - so no point to take leave. All dressed up but no where to go :-( Sbb tu putera, puteri and budi boring - though their cuti raya is like a week. :-)

Anyway, the highlight of the event of our raya was the eve. Tambah lagi, ada reporter buat laporan abt how we (johorean?) celebrate raya. It was published in Batam post :-). Read along if you are opened to Indonesian Language.

Anyway, sumpah I never lied abt my age. I did told him I'm 45 - but somehow, he put it 43..hemm.. perasan mudalah aku:

http://hasanaspahani.blogspot.com/2008/10/harga-minyak-api-dan-selamat-kastari.html (part 1)

http://hasanaspahani.blogspot.com/2008/10/ketupat-plastik-dan-lampu-colok-di.html (part 2)

http://hasanaspahani.blogspot.com/2008/10/parkir-tanpa-juru-parkir-spbu-pun.html (part 3)

waallahualam. Maaf Lahir batin.

/dzan

my only princess is now officially a BLOG GIRL !!

Salam Ramadahn (still),

My one and only luvable 12 yr old princess is now officially a BLOG GIRL. YOU GO GIRL!!

hemm...is that good or bad? I sure hope it is gd. After learning her Blog Page http://pppputeri.blogspot.com/ , I went there. Gee...! it must be the father thinggy..cos...i luv her writing.

Ok..so I reminded her not to use too much of the short form - else she will develop that carelessness in writing like I do. I do hope she will not be the "suara-suara songsang". kena cekup ISA nanti kang.

Happy blogging GIRL!!

/dzan

i'm so lucky

Salam Ramadhan,

Someone saw my family pictures in my facebook and sent me a pte email: " You guys seems to be one happy Family!!!".

Frankly, I never thought of it that way because we are just living it daily. Alhamdullillah !! Though we acknowledge that nothing last forever, we are counting our blessing for this close proximity. I do wish and pray that many of you (all of you) are feeling the joy and happiness within yr home and that you'll find values in those comfort.

At times or everytime, when I thought I'm all alone and life is ever so meaningless (probably due to that mid-life crisis)..I began to see and feel how lucky I am and not to take things for granted.

This is a song describing my feeling of luv and joy.

My wonderful princes and princess introduced this song to us. And all these while, as I drive to work with my ratu back and forth - I've been telling her (and reminding myself) how blessed we are. Alhamdullillah.

So here goes: ( for some reason(s) I could not copy the embeded video into my blog...ahh)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVvncnt4boY

/dzan

bicara asyik

:hasan
aku bagai dirasuk tahyul kaum cina dibulan tujuh
sedang ramadhan datang merantai segala jenis iblis dan kuncunya

ketika bicara mu ku terima
yang mampu menerobos pemikir hati naluri penyair untuk jelata
termaktub dalam naskah kitab dini senja.

kita harus tebarkan kalam bersahaja
sebelum menular amuk senusantara
lalu terhenti bayangan kalimah mesra

aku asyik...berulang-ulang saat membaca

/dzan

excuses

making excuses is like telling lies. you'll never know when to stop. After sometime, you can't see the thin lines between fact and fiction .

missing my princes and princess

I've been married for barely 15 yrs now. Blessed with 2 princes and 1 princess. I see the future in them. And yes the future starts now and with me (and my ratu) as parents. And I luv them dearly. So I never see letting my kids to be home-schooled. Let alone boarding-school.

I reckon that home-schooling takes away the social development and interaction from the child. And perhaps the competitive spirit that the child needs to pick-up from his freinds. No, weekend interaction is never enough. Just like weekend or seasonal (vacation) parenting.

Above that I've yet to meet any parents who can be a master on all subject fields available. Even a school with so many talented teaching staffs could not provide total exposure to the pupils. What more for people like you and me. So no , home schooling is OUT!!!

Besides, I want my kids to grow in the most natural environment today and that means I've to expose them to the "streets".

Boarding schools on the other hand are just too scary for me. Without elaborating, I don't need to be an expert to peek at the future. Considering that their spiritual and mental state will be in the hands of complete strangers i.e. their hostel mates and their teachers. Where do I begin to describe the future? Who can I blame if they ended up like the ummah today i.e blaming cultures and all the sort etc???.

Since young all my 3 kids sleep in the same room as us. And we grew and bond very well. Recently, I've re-renovated my master room. And all of the sudden, my eldest prince and my only princess decided to sleep in their own rooms. Good for them. Though I know that such time will come, why do I miss them miserably. And they are only 1 room away. hemm... Of course as a man I never show it, but I truly miss them. But certainly I'm letting them go and do feel good for their decision.

However, it makes me wonder everytime - how do you guys do it? i.e. Sending yr kids far-far away. Some at a very young age. And some parents I know are doctors, lawyers etc. Inspite of all the 1001 reasonings - what money or what intelligence can buy the lost time? Soon they will grow up, work far away, getting married and live far away.. and..the future? Another remote family....the ummah? Don't we have a choice at all on how and what should our family be? Or just another set of ummah defines by their friends and teachers? Phew!!

How do we account for the lost time? How do we justify that the only things that bond us are our biological-linkages and pure religious piety? Does it really work like that? Hemm...I don't want to find out too late. But instead I'm putting every effort to change the future by making my small steps with them today. If I die failing, at least I know I've tried. Or at least I know that we love each other by the constant and progressive efforts that we do for each other daily - not merely religious piety or biological linkages.

Am I crazy or what?

Wallahualam.

/dzan

Bahagia Bersama Mu

aku tenang bersama mu
walau gejolak hidup sering beradu
walau kesempurnaan masih bertempur dijalan buntu
walau hanya sejengkal waktu

antara engkau dan aku
masih ada rindu dalam kalbu

jiwa ku menggapai bahagia
didalam keberadaan kamu
dibawah degupan sang rembulan
yang sering menjadi perasan
dalam gelap ada juga gemerlapan
dalam godaan ada juga peringatan
keinginan hidup bersama terus belarutan

syukurlah aku dalam nikmat Tuhan

engkau menjadi ratu ku
dalam tasbih berangkulan
dalam jernih syahadah keTuhanan
dalam rintih bermunajat kehidupan

kita sama-sama bahagia
didalam hidup bersuka-duka
walau kudrat terhad berupaya
cahaya mata adalah menjadi pelipur-lara

Alhamdullillah..
doa didalam sujud ku....

adalah aku terus tenang besama mu
adalah aku terus bahagia disamping mu
adalah kita berdampingan menjadi tua
didalam pandangan jarak cahaya-mata
dibawah naungan Tuhan senantiasa

dan kita sama-sama bahagia

// Happy 14th Wedding Anniversary my Ratu //

/dzan
June 2008

my bonda oh my bonda

Life has a way with us - somehow. No matter how hard we try to escape from it. More often than not, we found ourselves entangled and get caught up in the in-betweens. And sometimes those matters are so dear to us - yet it would be better NOT said nor Done. And it haunt us like forever - lingering and causing us more and more hang-ups. And when that happens, the toll is just too much to bear.

Recently, I saw a drastic change of my bonda's attitude. While it is for the better, it also means that her days are numbered - so I'm thinking. And that makes me a little (a lot really) sad. It is like she is whispering to my ears that she will meet Allah S.W.T very soon. I'm so scared really. But I'm redha somehow.

She can't walk now. Me and my brother have just employed a maid for her. She seems content and very happy with the maid. Bad excuses for me and my sibbligs for not able to attend to her needs. But I'm glad that the maid that she picked is working out well. And just recently, she agreed to stay in my home - I mean in one of my houses that I'm not living.

That is a change really - for her especially. She has been a very strong and independent person. So she has always wanted to live in her own house. And now with her condition and with the maid to attend to her needs, she agrees to live in my house - while she rent her own place. That way I reasoned that my step-dad don't have to work for money but only for leisure. And my step dad is getting older (though he is 10 yrs younger than my bonda). I hope I'll give him the sense of working is no longer a mandatory. I do hope they can spend more time for leisure.

My heart cried yesterday nite, as I was thinking of her. Whatever the case is, I want my bonda to know and feel that she is well loved by her children. And by Allah's Grace, if her time is up, I do hope that she will go in peace and accepted by Allah for all her little or big deeds. And that she knows that we all luv her truly and we forgive her (if ever) for her misdeeds towards us. She is one woman I know who had made quantum leap progress in taking charge of her own life. And my principle in life is very much like her.

She will be going through a knee-cap operation next month. Though many such ops were successful, I have relatives who passed-away due to some complication after such simple surgery. I'm scared and I do pray and hope that she will go through this successfully. And that she will live longer for us to continue showering our love for her. InsyaAllah Amin.

I do hope you all pray for her well-being too. InsyaAllah. Amin

Praying for yr spritual advancement as I've wished you've prayed for mine. Insyaallah. Amin.

Here's a tribute to my beloved bonda and all other mothers.

May Allah Bless her always.

Thinking 2007

Peace,

2007 caught up with me rather fast. I could hardly catch my breath to appreciate it.

Personally, I could not possibly find solace in New Year celebration. I am not amused nor do I appreciate the "Auld Lang Syne" or other Happy New Year parties all over. But I suppose this global celebration is just too hard to deny.

So, 2007 had put me up against some heavy swings - half swings, full swings..and back into full circles of my life. Bringing me back and forth - in-betweens my younger days, my present and some near future. I saw myself in pains, sadness, happiness and of course disappointment too....all that pains of the past years ..but feeling it as a 3rd person during 2007. Funny right?

But overall ye, 2007 has been fulfilling and meaningful one.

Somehow, 2007 had me at my peak in term of my love life. I began to get that ever luv and tranquil feeling again - for my bonda after 3 yrs of losing it . That luv as i recalled somehow deminished btw 2003 till mid 2005 - due to external fitnah. But I'm so glad i started 2007 with luv and it continues.

Sometimes....I wonder why or how can anyone (few ppl) could possibly say..that I'm too good for this or for that?

Throughout my 43 years of human life, I've never remember running out of Luv - though I've had been falling Out-of-Luv many times. My ratu and kids seem to
get my attention by day. and I'm enjoying it.

My past luv(s) were nothing but memory without true feelings..bad ones are JUST silly memories while the good ones..just memories. And the current luv is ever so fulfilling.

Somewhere in march 2007 my bonda...could not walk. And now she is on wheel chair - pending for her decision to go for knee operation or not. Just heard the news this morning that she is willing to go through the operation. May she recover from it and no complication from the operation.

Then in June on the wheelchair, she (my bonda) brought 2 of my kids and 3 of other grandchildren of hers for ummrah. I was not sure..if i was worried for her or for the kids aged btw 9-12 yrs old. Since she was paying for everyone for the whole trip, how can I prevent her from going right?

Career wise, it was good. It started with a turmoil in the beginning of the year 2007...until I decided to take charge. And Alhamdullillah it picked-up by mid of the year. Hooray.

Ah..but Then..towards the end of the year, I missed my ratu and my kids miserably...on foreign land. Aidilfitri spending away and all.

All in all..I am happy with 2007. But it is far from over. I've yet to fulfill some of the list..so... am only closing 2007 in Feb 2008.

So what is my new year resolution?

1. to spread more influence for world peace and will NOT participate any talk, act or words (directly or otherwise) abt Hatred, War, disintegration or the like - by focusing on my own community -i.e myself and immediate FAMILY.

2. to remain a luving husband / father

3. to be a better muslim who uses the brain to think

4. exercise. get rid of my tummy..and be healthy

What I expect from others?

1. From all the girls/ women of my life (my ratu, my bonda, my princess, my sis:)

a. use more of their brains - be a thinker.
b. be my other set of eyes and ears
c. but some thought of things that affect others in their words and action.
d. assume more responsibilities and be accountable
e. discover their self-worth and add value to themselves.

2. from all the boys of my life:

a. as above
b. be a man.

3. from everyone

a. Stop complaining and don't wait for others to tell or do things for you. Do it yrself and take ownership.
b. Stop looking at caucasians (west) for measurement / benchmarks of happiness and success in life
c. Stop leaning on past successes. Move on by making history in changing our very own community -i.e. Family / destiny

But oh well, until then, I'm struggling for the closure of my 2007 !!! Waallahualam,